'Our First Christmas 2009' Ornament

 

Years on the tree: 4

Acquired: Given as a gift

Fun Fact: I worked on Our First Christmas 2009 as a married couple in the morning at my job. At the time, Rachel and I had matching cell phones. I left the house with both of them; one in each pocket. She was home alone, in a blizzard, with no ability to call anyone.

Look at that beautiful couple. No seriously. Aren’t they beautiful??? That is because they are both professionally paid models posing for a picture to promote to the consumer that this ornament is to be used as a frame. This will be our fourth Christmas together and yet the YOUR PHOTO GOES HERE example picture still goes unchanged bearing NO PICTURE of Rachel and me. Year after year we take the ornament out and year after year I am reminded of what a terrible human being I really am. I could just NOT put the ornament on the tree, but that would mean completely giving up. I like to leave that glimmer of hope that maybe I will change the picture this year and not just put the ornament on the branch closest to the wall, thus further glorifying The Beast of Procrastination.

(First Thing on a December Morning)

Michael: Rachel, today is the day I am going to put OUR picture in the ornament.

Rachel: No you’re not.

Michael:  Then tomorrow….for sure.

Beast of Procrastination: RARRRWWW!!!

Rachel: Honey, can you see what that sound was?

Michael: In a minute.

 Rachel and I both agree that the Window of Change has officially been slammed shut on getting a picture of us in the ornament. I understand getting the ornament as a gift on our first Christmas and thinking “Oh next year (2010) when we hang this ornament we will have to get a picture of us to put in here.” Well, here we are 2012 and the couple I have never met is still smiling in love knowing they aren’t going anywhere. To be perfectly honest, I really don’t see myself ever changing the picture. It is not like a 4 X 6 inch photo that I can just slide into a slot on the back of the ornament. The ornament requires a certain level of arts and crafts (cutting with scissors) that I just don’t have time for right now as a New Parent.  Whoever gifted us this hanging obligation assumed that Rachel and I would just have a plethora of photos that would be compatible for the stipulations imposed by the frame. 

I have actually looked for a photo for the Our First Christmas 2009 Ornament that could work. In order to uphold the integrity of each word of the Our First Christmas 2009 ornament, Rachel and I would have to be sitting right next to each other and the photo would have to be taken from across the room only in December of the year 2009. So you see, it is more difficult than it looks!! 

Our First Christmas 2009 was just like every other married couple’s first Christmas:  In a word “simple” and in two words “simple” and “poor”. Virtually everything we had in the way of décor consisted of Christmas “run off” from our respective parents’ holiday stash. When you walked into our one story rental house, you knew it was Christmas because we had designated a wall to hang our stockings with 3M hooks being very careful to not damage the wall paper lest we be penalized on the deposit.  We also had a tree and on that tree was a Our First Christmas 2009 ornament that “we need to find a photo for before we put up the tree this year, okay Michael?”.

 I would rather not do anything to the ornament than to jeopardize the integrity of what Our First Christmas 2009 Ornament stands for. I cannot put a picture of us from this year (2012) because the giver of the ornament did not buy a Our Fourth Christmas 2012 Ornament.  If such an ornament were given to us this year, I regretfully report that TWO ornaments on my tree would probably not have pictures next year. 

 I like to think that maybe the couple in the ornament IS a real-life married couple and on their Christmas tree is an ornament that says Our First Christmas 2009 and in that ornament bears a picture of Rachel and me. Changing the ornament now on my tree would cause some sort of “Butterfly Effect” and all life as we know it would change if altered. So for your sake, Universe, we will procrastinate at least one more Christmas. You’re welcome.

Ornament Girl: “Oh George, darling, it looks like we dodged the bullet again this year. An entire year together again, George! Isn’t it just lovely?

Ornament Dude:  “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Martha. It wasn’t supposed to be like this at all!! Let’s end this charade now. Let me out!!! Let me out!!!