Years on the Tree: On again, off again since 1987
Acquired: McDonald’s Drive Thru Attendant: “..and would you
like to add a plush bear wearing a scarf to you value meal?”
Fun Fact: Check out Jim Henson’s ‘The Christmas Toy’ (I think
it is on Netflix). It is my new favorite holiday special. Or you may have seen
it already if you watched a little movie called ‘Toy Story’. That’s
right…..’The Christmas Toy’ came out in 1986 and whereas ‘Toy Story’ came out
in 1995. Pixar ripped so many themes, archetype characters, and even plot
devices that it makes me want to punch Randy Newman in the face.
I am no stranger to the dirty and unpredictable aisles of
flea markets, antique malls, thrift stores, and any other way you can spin an
establishment that sells crap people didn’t want ten years ago. I like these
stores because you really never know what treasures you are going to find.
Well, I guess what I mean by “treasures” is crap people used to own that may
have errantly been tossed in the “Give-Away” pile instead of the “Trash” pile.
And I guess I need to clarify my loose definition of the word “find” as well:
To find something means that you are looking and in my entire life I have never
walked into a crap store looking for what I will shamefully approach the
cashier with ready to deflect any form of small talk she tries to initiate.
Flea Market Cashier: Oh wow, I remember these wrestling
figures. Who was your favorite wrest-
Me: THE WEATHER!! Did you notice we are experiencing weather
today?!? The morning news was right!
But the truth about Flea Markets is that they will always
have a place in my heart because they have sort of a time machine factor for
me. I can usually walk down an aisle and see a handful of things I remember
owning or had seen brand-new in stores at one point or another. I like seeing
the different booths and what each vendor thinks other people will want. My
favorite booths found in every single flea market across America are as
follows:
-USED, DECREPIT VHS BOOTH- This booth just floors me because
I never see anyone in this booth buying VHS copies of ‘Jurassic Park 3’ or
“She’s All That”. I hope in my heart of hearts that someone is not funding
their grocery bill based off of the earnings from this booth.
“Daddy I’m hungry.”
“We can eat when we sell this fine copy of “How Stella Got
Her Groove Back.”
-MISCELLANEOUS GROUPINGS OF TOYS IN A ZIPLOC BAG BOOTH –This
is a flea market staple that can be a huge payoff or a miserable realization
that life isn’t always fair. Essentially, someone has a bunch of toys that they
shove, at random, into a bag and tape it shut. What makes this process so
difficult to the consumer is that the toys are never from the same genre, age
range, or cleanliness. If the owner of the booth had just spent a little bit of
time on the groupings I think it would pay off big. However, all the items and
accessories that technically go together are spread out over a dozen sacks and
if there is one thing you can talk yourself into buying than there are usually
five items you can talk yourself out of as well.
Bag-O-Crap Breakdown:
Green Ranger (Wanted)
Beebop (Wanted)
Naked Skipper Doll (Unwanted)
Treasure Troll w/ hair pulled out (also naked) (Unwanted)
Sticky Hand covered in absolute filth (Unwanted)
Pogs that got wet at one point (Unwanted)
-???????? BOOTH – You can technically construe that this
defines 95% of booths at a Flea Market. However, sometimes a booth vendor will
go above and beyond good taste to load their 10ft. X 10ft. sales floor with
whatever they can find and tag. Here in Liberty, we have two days a year that
the trash removal service lifts all established guidelines and it is anything
goes at the curb. On the evening of this great event, people will drive around
at night in pick-ups trucks with trailers and like Jawas will just hoard
whatever trash they can sell. I am positive that I have been at a flea market
in my town and seen something I brought to the curb weeks prior. Remember what
I said about stumbling across things I used to own? Well it is not always a
good thing. Let’s get on with the ornament!!!
The whole introduction about flea markets is sort of a set
up as to how I got all three into one place at one time. These Muppet Babies
were part of a promotion at McDonald’s in 1987. I would have been one year old
and must have received these for a gift for my second Christmas. If you look
real closely, you will usually find one or two of these at a flea market or
thrift store spread out over different booths. In all my years I have never
seen a complete set in one booth at one time.
So a few years ago I got married which meant that I had to
start my own traditions and we were going to have to have a line in the sand
moment when it came to the Christmas items I loved and wanted to adopt/take
from my parents. My dad knew how much some of these yuletide relics meant to me
because I had been putting them up in our family’s home year after year. I
wanted to make sure he was okay with me taking some of these family heirlooms
with me so I carefully asked what I could take and he said, “Take whatever you want, we have too
much crap anyway. Just don’t let your mother see you or she will nag my
[profanity] all day long.”
So Dad was on board.
My mother, on the other hand, did not want to give up the
items she loved and cherished year after year once she realized I was
establishing a “Michael To Go”pile. A
Muppet Trio, not the one pictured above, but A Muppet Trio went from the “To
Go” Pile to the “Hell No” pile. Thus, the thrift and flea market search began.
Like I said, you could never find all three of these guys
together in one spot at one time and if you did you had to make some
concessions. For instance one stop at an Independence Flea Market procured
Fozzie and Kermit, but Miss Piggy had no clothing. Another fine thrift
institution, had a Kermit who looked like he had been used as a dog’s chew toy
and not an ornament. Therefore, I had only two weeks to get my Muppet Babies
Trio intact and on my tree for my own first Christmas so I went to ebay.
Some people wanted $10 a piece. Others wanted $50 for all
three. The prices were astronomical. I was watching over a dozen auctions and
as they sold I would find more and watch in anticipation that just the right
auction would come along and I would snipe.
I imagined the Grinch with his fat Grinch Wallet bidding on and winning
every single auction out of spite so that he would heat his Grinch House with
Muppet Baby dolls – a fuel more valuable than oil that hopefully will never
power anything (same as it does today). Fortunately for me, one auction slipped
through the Grinch’s fingers and I won….All three…..with accessories….for....
$.99
You can tell by the way they were packaged that the seller was
so angry as he shoved these into a bubble wrapped envelope that barely
contained my winnings. It was ten pounds of Muppet in a five pound bag, but my
Muppet Babies made it before Christmas so that I could start my own. Let’s take
a look.
Fozzy
I don’t know why a bear who wears no pants needs a scarf,
but it is a good winter look for you, pal. And the hat with two holly leaves?:
Pulling…it….off.
I don’t know why but seeing Fozzy face down being trampled
by a toddler prompted me to write this Haiku. Enjoy:
My boy at Christmas
Filled with joy and merriment
None for Fozzy Bear
Kermit
My Original Kermit from all those years ago had no winter
vest. So having one now is great. In fact, I don’t even know if we even had the
original Santa hat that went with the Original Kermit. The ebayer seller could
have kept the tiny vest and hat and I would have been none the wiser. The
Kermit vest could have fit a baby Sadie (our Yorkie) maybe two years ago.
Perhaps we can try some sort of Holiday Hat accessory for Bentley.
As soon as I put this “hat” on him I heard Sarah Mclachlan’s
“Angel” playing in the background. Poor Dog.
Miss Piggy
This Miss Piggy always made me laugh because her dress was
always a little too short. Remember, these are supposed to be dolls wearing
winter apparel. It just seems that having a massive fur-lined hoodie would not
make up for wearing no pants. Furthermore, I don’t quite understand why they
had to go with the white panties. Observe.
I don’t know if that is clear or not but it is obvious that
Miss Piggy has dirtied her underbritches. Perhaps the ebay seller who sold
these to me at such a steal felt overcome by his loss and sullied Miss Piggy. Then
again, that could be why the auction started at 99cents. Well played.
I think McDonald’s did a great job with these collectables.
I don’t know about you, but I think it is time for a 25th
Anniversary Series II. My nomination is
that Animal, Gonzo, and Rowlf should get the Plush Honor even though I would trade all the aforementioned names for a baby Beaker in earmuffs. Even better would be
if we could somehow have the Muppet Promotion overlap with the McRib promotion.
The moment the promotion went live, you would see me walking out of McDonald’s
with a McRib in one hand, a Baby Gonzo in the other, and the biggest barbeque
stained smile in between.
My favorite thus far!!!
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