No One Puts Baby Ernie in the Corner

    The older I get the more I realize that Christmas traditions vary family to family. In 26 Christmases on this Earth, I have never quite found another family that celebrates it quite like we do in the DeFelice household which is probably a good thing because I don't like long lines at the Chinese restaurant. (Think I'm joking? Ming Dragon at 11:30am.December 25th. See you there. I'll be the guy who ate all the Crab Rangoons.) What may make sense for my clan to do every December may sound like pure absurdity in your household. I am okay with that, because I know that no two households should celebrate the holiday the same way. When I was a child, I looked forward to a plethora of things every year that we had to do in somewhat of a particular order and if we didn’t do them all before December 25^th  I had some sort of meltdown and felt as if Christmas – The Most Wonderful Time of the Year – had turned into reindeer droppings. 

Must  Do Christmas Traditions I Looked Forward to Circa 1995:

-Presents…Lots of them. Given to me by every family member I knew on a first name basis. I would write very detailed lists with hand drawn pictures of what it was I was looking for. I would write down price points, descriptions of the box, and where it was located in each store.  I remember specifically one list/demand for my old Italian aunt where I put: “Optimus Primal from the Beast Wars Transformers line. This is a black gorilla that transforms into a robot. Box is about a foot high and it costs about $20”. I received cash that year. 

-Making and then immediately devouring Christmas cookies. 

-Driving around the Chicagoland area and looking at Christmas light displays with my family.

- Watching Christmas Specials – both the ones aired year after year on television and the rare gems that aired once but I was able to record. These are now safely guarded VHS tapes in my basement. I don’t know where the deed to the house is, but I can damn sure tell you where Muppet Family Christmas is at all times. I have about 8 VHS tapes that are a Christmas miracle in themselves considering everything I own  gets covered with hair and chewed on by dogs and a baby (in that order). I am going to try to convert these over to DVD someday, but I sort of like playing Russian Roulette with the old cassettes year after year. I know it sounds crazy, but I sort of like the residual high of blowing off the dust like an old Nintendo game cartridge and plugging it into the VCR and saying that little prayer “Just give me one more year, Rugrats Christmas. I want to see Phil get his Reptar Helmet.” The most ridiculous prayer ever prayed, but yet it goes answered every year, folks.

-Eggnog. I love the stuff. 

-Hanging Christmas lights. We had black bars on all the windows of the house so it was like saying, "You may be able to get in, but you're not getting out, Mr. Clause."

-Trimming the tree. I think ornaments are neat.

     There were a lot more traditions as well. Stockings, visiting Santa, and so so many more. Now, 2012, it seems that working retail management  (Motto: Customer Service is Not Punching Anyone in the Face) in December six days a week has turned my once jolly self into a someone who uses an Advent Calendar not to count down the days to Christmas, but rather to count down the days until it is over.

Must Do Christmas Traditions I Look Forward to Circa 2012:

-Try to survive on the five and a half hours of sleep I am getting every night long enough to see my son open all the presents underneath the tree that are his. (Present Breakdown To Date (and we still have 14 shopping days left): Michael - 0, Rachel - 0, Luke - 237) 

-Eggnog.  I love the stuff so much it hurts (Oh wait…that’s my heart).

    Anywho, it is of this writer's opinion that everyone has that one piece of Christmas that they deem as ‘Their Time Travel” Piece – That one piece that takes you back to a time that wasn’t so busy and full of responsibility. That one piece that has to have "prime real estate" and not the netherbranches.  For me, I have one ornament that takes me back twenty years to 1992. This is usually the first ornament that I find that I know for sure is going on the tree. This ornament is the last one packed and the first one out. My Ernie ornament is probably the first ornament that I went to the store and I picked out and I got to hang every single year. I’m not sure if anybody else got possessive with their ornaments, but in my house if you made the ornament or it was a gift to you it meant that you were the only one who could hang it. If I didn’t hang Ernie, he lost his Christmas mojo and I would have to pull him off the tree and hang him on an entirely different branch.

     Baby Ernie riding a firetruck is one of those ornaments that, just like the aforementioned VHS tapes, is on borrowed time which kind of adds to his charm. It is a porcelain ornament which means that one kamikaze fall from the tree due to a poor hanging job or insufficient packaging could wind him up in a December trash bag and not in December newspaper ads safe and snug for next year. I like the ornament because as you can see it is a baby Ernie and he has obviously been gifted his brand new firetruck. It makes me wonder if he got the firefighter helmet and the firetruck at the same time, or if he got the firefighter helmet as sort of a teaser gift. What is kind of awesome is that Baby Ernie has a companion ornament that I am currently in possession of; however, due to the code of the tree, I will not hang because it is my younger brother’s ornament…..which we will be reviewing tomorrow.