Godzilla Ornament

This is not my Christmas tree. My family tree doesn’t look like this. I mean, yeah this looks really nice, but a tree as pretty as this one I am guessing is owned by the same kind of people who own and use coasters. If this tree were in my home, I would have to buy new furniture, drive a better car, and wear fewer shirts with professional wrestlers on them. I am from a different kind of school when it comes to this yuletide tradition. I am from the school of “If it hangs, it’s an ornament”. If you are not from this same school, your tree will not look the same as mine. That’s okay. Not all of our trees can look like a thrift store blew up in the forest and its contents landed perfectly spaced onto only the conifers.

 Very few ornaments ever get cut from the DeFelice family tree; mainly because I have a very strange “Toy Story”-esque relationship with my hanging mementos. All these dangling décor have earned their green-wire hangers at one point or another and just because I have grown and gained more responsibility in life doesn’t mean that their time and place on the tree shouldn’t be celebrated. Therefore, no ornament gets left behind. Some ornaments get prime real estate while their less-appreciated brethren get shoved deeply into the netherbranches where they can at least say that they are on the tree but not in the Sterilite Prison in the crawl space. If they decided to move places is fine by me, so long as they get back to where I meticulously placed them when I walk into the room.

So here are the high rollers of the DeFelice family tree – one day at a time. If you see any you want; remember, these are my most cherished memories and I will only accept the crispest of bills. (We all saw “Toy Story 3”.  They’ll get over it.)

 

December 1st -Electronic Godzilla Ornament 

Years on the Tree: 5 

Acquired: Christmas Present from Cole Shinn in St. Joseph, Missouri in 2006 

Fun Fact: Godzilla can fly. In ‘Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster’ (Hedorah), Godzilla uses his Atomic breath as sort of a jet thruster and goes airborne.

I am really bad at pretending to like the presents people give me when it is painfully obvious that both parties involved know it is a present I never should have been given in the first place. (“That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”  – Linus)

With that said I must say that this is the only present I have ever received which caused me –upon removing said present from the wrapping paper – to stand up and hug the giver of the gift.  The Godzilla ornament was given to me by my suitemate of 4 semesters, Cole, during our Suite Christmas of 2006. (Small aside: In two years of living with Cole, he never once used the bathroom. I am 100% serious. I think there were owl-like pellets outside his dorm window comprised of Mountain Dew bottle caps and Chipotle burrito foil.)

The ornament was given to me by Cole the first semester we knew each other which is astounding because Cole and I didn’t really know each other that first semester. We did things first time suitemates would do. We often times made excuses to go to Wal-Mart (North Belt if we wanted to purchase something, South Belt if we wanted to be shanked).  We also played a lot of video games. I was good at Guitar Hero so long as I didn’t have to use my pinky, but I was really bad at Halo mainly because I would spend my time strategically getting sniped in the head. So yes we hung out, but nailing the perfect gift on the first try without any consultation is amazing considering I never told Cole the following:

-“I like Godzilla.”

-“Worthless Crap? Yeah, I am down .”

It is an awesome ornament and features some of the other tyrants of the Godzilla universe. Mothra, Rodan, Anguirus, King Ghidorah and Mecha Godzilla all packed into one ornament is pretty amazing. The creators of the ornament didn’t have to put any other monsters on the ornament. This is one of those times where if someone were to be on the cusp of purchasing, this attribute would definitely get the cash out of the wallet. Then again I think part of the ornament’s charm is that it is the definition of an impulse item. I don’t see anybody driving to the store or making a special trip for this. No one’s grocery list reads: Eggs, flour, hamburger, Godzilla ornament, mustard, etc.

The ornament is electronic. One push of the button and The King of the Monsters will roar his icon roar three times. I have never changed the battery and it is still loud enough to wake a sleeping baby which means no more Godzilla ornament after 7pm in this household. The only thing that could be better is if instead of the roar, we got Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Godzilla’ every now and then. All other ornaments and décor on the tree would tremble at his purposeful grimace and his terrible sound. Just remember, Star, you are only up there on a practicality.